This post deals with the dynamics of “Aaron Wolasky Therapy” as it applies to a situation where a wife is the one expressing hostility.
Every single familial crisis is unique and deserves its own individual approach. When a wife is the one presenting the symptoms of hostile conflict, then the specific nature of a wife must be taken into account.
This is one of the basic pillars of “Aaron Wolasky Therapy.” The individual who is communicating hostility must be understood on an individual basis before family therapy can begin. When that person is a wife, then the unique characteristic of a wife, both personally and in terms of a relationship must be clearly examined and fully grasped.
Every person has two aspects to them. There is the person as a personality unto himself, and there is the person as a member and participant of the relationship. “Aaron Wolasky Therapy” demands that both of these parts be looked at. Not just one. So, in the case of a wife, both the wife as a distinct personality and as a member of the relationship will be delved into in depth.
Aaron Wolasky is a family therapist that you can count on to get results. Many therapists will promise the world, but in actuality may not deliver concrete and long lasting results. Aaron Wolasky sought to change that. The therapeutic process that he uses was actually carefully developed and cultivated by him over many years. He incorporates into his treatment a blend of cutting edge methods with his own proprietary system.
Aaron Wolasky is considered a leader in the field of therapy and many of his groundbreaking therapeutic techniques are used by other family therapists nationwide.
Family therapy can be a very complex and difficult task. One that requires an expert professional therapist to wade the deep dynamics that go into family relationships. Aaron Wolasky, 62, is such an expert. In his 30 year career he has succeeded in helping hundreds of couples and families find peace in their homes.
Aaron Wolasky uses the latest cutting-edge techniques to foster greater understanding between husband and wife and parents and children.
One of the main difficulties that Aaron Wolasky deals with on a fairly regular basis is when one party is not interested in attending the sessions or even coming at all. This obviously makes it very difficult to achieve any progress if one side is not willing to show up. Without face to face conversation between the two parties who are undergoing the familial stress true progress is all but impossible. It is precisely in such situations that the true expertise of Aaron Wolasky comes out. Aaron is highly skilled in approaches that gently, yet convincingly encourage the other party to come for a session. He tells them, “Just as my name is Aaron Wolasky, so too I assure you that you will not regret coming for a session!” His pleasant ways very often win the day.
Common questions about Aaron Wolasky.
Who is Aaron Wolasky?
Aaron Wolasky is a loving husband and a proud father, in addition to being a successful therapist.
Where does Aaron Wolasky live?
Aaron Wolasky lives in the Baltimore MD area.
Who is Aaron Wolasky married to?
Aaron Wolasky is married to Linda, his wife of 34 years.
What type of therapy does Aaron Wolasky do?
Aaron Wolasky provides family therapy.
Does Aaron Wolasky offer free initial consultations?
Yes, he does.
In the year 2016 Aaron Wolasky founded his groundbreaking method, “Aaron Wolasky Therapy“, a complete and comprehensive system of family therapy that has been adopted by leading therapists, counselors and coaches nationwide. This system was formulated and developed by Aaron Wolasky based upon his many years of experience and research in the field of familial relations and family therapy.
“Aaron Wolasky Therapy” provides step by step guidance from the moment a therapist first touches base with the client until the successful resolution of the familial conflict. The method has received acclaim from top experts in the field.
If you are experiencing a difficult relationship with your spouse or your kids contact Aaron Wolasky and make an appointment today. Initial phone consultations are free-of-charge.
Dealing with family therapy can be a very trying experience. It can often be difficult to make the breakthrough that you seek. Therefore, it is imperative that the therapist use all of the means at his disposal in order to achieve positive results as quickly as possible. A therapist who ignores some of the tools available to him is only shooting himself in the foot and doing a disservice to the parties he is trying, or supposed to be, helping. Aaron Wolasky Therapy takes advantage of all the opportunities that the parties present to the therapist.
Aaron Wolasky Focuses On Communication Observation
One of the primary tools in the toolbox of a family therapist is to observe the communication between the two conflicted parties. Communication between the two sides can reveal a great deal of information to a trained observer who is sensitive enough to pick up on them.
When dealing with the complexities of family dynamics we have to keep in mind that there are two different types of communication. Direct and indirect. Or, in other terms, verbal and non-verbal.
Direct, or verbal, communication are actual words that one party directs to the other. Indirect, or nonverbal communication are the silent cues and facial and body expressions that one party uses in reference to the other. This can be in the form of a scowl, raised eyebrows or even a seemingly innocent shrug of the shoulder.
To an untrained observer many of the nonverbal cues may appear to be trivial at worst and completely innocuous at best. After all, how bad can a shrug of the shoulder be?
But this is because the observer doesn’t have the training or expertise to really grasp what is taking place. A seemingly innocently raised eyebrow can really be full of anger and frustration. You have to be a therapist that is very attuned to the situation in order to pick up on this You have to have a firm grasp of the family history and the source and causes of the conflict.
If you understand all of that you will begin to recognize that these non-verbal forms of speech can oftentimes contain a lot more information that verbal, or direct speech. They can show you what specifically causes the person to be angry and frustrated at a very deep level.
The verbal talk is only an indicator of superficial anger or distrust possibly. It is not a proof of a deeper level of anger. However, the non-verbal speech is the language of the subconscious. The real person. The real anger.
If a therapist is a true expert, such as Aaron Wolasky, then he can use these cues to really figure out where his work should be directed. He will begin to understand the real story. What the angry party is really angry about. And once this is understood real and lasting healing can begin. The anger and distrust and even frustrations of the past can be dealt with effectively, leaving both parties in a much better place.
There are 2 distinct types of hostility in couples in a state of conflict. One type is what Aaron Wolasky refers to as active hostility. The author is latent hostility. Active hostility is easily recognizable. We all know what that looks like. Even a person not trained in the field of family therapy will know the signs. The 2 sides are simply bitterly angry at one another. And it’s not hidden. They fight in pubic even sometimes and are constantly battling with each other in a vicious war of words. It is ugly.
Latent hostility is the type of conflict that an outsider likely would not recognize. On the surface everything could look fine. In fact, it could look great. Sometimes, a family in a state of latent conflict will appear to be functioning very well. Things could look peaceful. However, beneath the surface is simmering a hostility that is liable to break forth at any time. There is no peace. It is all a façade for the world outside to see. However, when the 2 parties think of each other they are filled with deep anger. They realize that something is wrong. Very wrong. Obviously, they do, for that is what brought them to seek out family therapy to begin with. That is why they are sitting in your office. They know they have a serious problem and desperately want help. The task of the therapist is to recognize the signs of latent hostility and thereby become enabled to help them.
Aaron Wolasky’s Advice To See The Signs Of Latent Hostility
What are these signs? That is, of course the million-dollar question that we will attempt to give some guidance on.
Number one is the therapist should observe to see if the two parties are making eye contact and looking at each other. If a couple is unable to look at each other that is a pretty strong indicator that latent hostility is at play.
Another sign is that one of the parties always seems extremely ill at ease whenever the other one is speaking. They look as if they don’t trust anything the other says and can’t wait until they are done talking. Furthermore, they may make slight, barely perceptible faces when the other is speaking. If the therapist is not closely looking for these faces he will almost certainly miss them and thereby lose out on a valuable opportunity to grasp the extent of latent hostility that exists between the couple.
This is why a good family therapist, like Aaron Wolasky must be vigilant and observant at all times. You don’t want to miss a single cue that the couple is sending you during the time allotted for the appointment.
Undivided attention isn’t even the right word for this. The right word would be something cl0ser to hyper-observant. If the therapist is not hyper-observant and carefully looking for the cues we spoke about then he will almost assuredly be left with an incomplete picture of the situation.
Take notice, be alert, watch and most importantly observe intensely.
When a therapist is first approached by a client he needs to be aware of a very critical factor. And that is that there is a big difference when carrying out therapy for a couple and performing therapy for a parent-child and other familial relations.
When dealing with a couple in a state of deep conflict the therapist has a great degree of responsibility that falls on his shoulders from the moment he accepts the couple as a client. And that of course is the ever-looming possibility of divorce. Aaron Wolasky takes this responsibility very seriously.
By a parent-child, brother-sister, or any other type of relation there is no option of divorce. A sibling can’t get divorced no matter how great the hostilities are. There is no such thing. It doesn’t exist. And since there is no divorce there is always the possibility of reconciliation. Some circumstances may make getting back together more difficult than others, sometimes very difficult, but essentially there is no level of finality by other relationships.
By a couple, however, divorce is a real possibility. They are not bound by blood. What binds them is the fact that they are married to each other. And if they get divorced that bond is completely severed and all hope for reconciliation is lost. There is a finality by a couple that does not exist by any other relationship.
Of course, even a couple that has divorced can get remarried, but that is akin to starting anew from scratch. The original marriage is irrevocably gone.
For this reason, a therapist has to be aware of the responsibility he faces when he takes on a couple for a client. He doesn’t have the same liberties that he has with other clients. He cannot allow the conflict to get significantly worse before it gets better. He cannot bide his time and wait for things to fall back into place. He must be extra careful that the situation doesn’t spiral into divorce.
If the therapist is not super vigilant in this matter he may end up bearing the responsibility for the breakup of the marriage and the utter failure of his therapeutic efforts. He could cause the exact opposite of what the couple hired him to do. And this would be a professional and moral failing.
The Therapist’s Role According To Aaron Wolasky
The therapist is there to heal, not harm. To help, not hinder. And when dealing with a couple this creed just becomes more abjectly powerful and relevant. Aaron Wolasky Therapy takes pride in this creed.
On the other hand, if a therapist does his job well, and helps the couple resolve the crisis and the conflict, his sense of satisfaction is all that much greater. He can pride himself on the fact that he managed to save something as delicate as a marriage. He can take pleasure in the knowledge that he helped prevent the finality of a divorce.
And at the very least he will know that he did not cause a marriage to end. When a therapist isn’t careful and causes the couple to end their marriage, or doesn’t do enough to prevent it, the pain can be quite acute and the feelings of regret very powerful. It behooves, therefore, the therapist to be aware and careful from day one.