When a therapist is first approached by a client he needs to be aware of a very critical factor. And that is that there is a big difference when carrying out therapy for a couple and performing therapy for a parent-child and other familial relations.
When dealing with a couple in a state of deep conflict the therapist has a great degree of responsibility that falls on his shoulders from the moment he accepts the couple as a client. And that of course is the ever-looming possibility of divorce. Aaron Wolasky takes this responsibility very seriously.
By a parent-child, brother-sister, or any other type of relation there is no option of divorce. A sibling can’t get divorced no matter how great the hostilities are. There is no such thing. It doesn’t exist. And since there is no divorce there is always the possibility of reconciliation. Some circumstances may make getting back together more difficult than others, sometimes very difficult, but essentially there is no level of finality by other relationships.
By a couple, however, divorce is a real possibility. They are not bound by blood. What binds them is the fact that they are married to each other. And if they get divorced that bond is completely severed and all hope for reconciliation is lost. There is a finality by a couple that does not exist by any other relationship.
Of course, even a couple that has divorced can get remarried, but that is akin to starting anew from scratch. The original marriage is irrevocably gone.
For this reason, a therapist has to be aware of the responsibility he faces when he takes on a couple for a client. He doesn’t have the same liberties that he has with other clients. He cannot allow the conflict to get significantly worse before it gets better. He cannot bide his time and wait for things to fall back into place. He must be extra careful that the situation doesn’t spiral into divorce.
If the therapist is not super vigilant in this matter he may end up bearing the responsibility for the breakup of the marriage and the utter failure of his therapeutic efforts. He could cause the exact opposite of what the couple hired him to do. And this would be a professional and moral failing.
The Therapist’s Role According To Aaron Wolasky
The therapist is there to heal, not harm. To help, not hinder. And when dealing with a couple this creed just becomes more abjectly powerful and relevant. Aaron Wolasky Therapy takes pride in this creed.
On the other hand, if a therapist does his job well, and helps the couple resolve the crisis and the conflict, his sense of satisfaction is all that much greater. He can pride himself on the fact that he managed to save something as delicate as a marriage. He can take pleasure in the knowledge that he helped prevent the finality of a divorce.
And at the very least he will know that he did not cause a marriage to end. When a therapist isn’t careful and causes the couple to end their marriage, or doesn’t do enough to prevent it, the pain can be quite acute and the feelings of regret very powerful. It behooves, therefore, the therapist to be aware and careful from day one.